Would you rather be clueless and happy or insightful and cynical?

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I’ve come to notice over the last decade or so of my adult life that open minded, giving and sensitive people are often the ones that suffer the most. They often suffer from depression, anxiety and have difficulty finding a ”safe” niche in the world. I consider myself one of these people.

Most that know me well think of me as very sensitive. Until recently I took this description as a bad thing and something I didn’t want to have in my life. I am very careful about what I expose my self to. I often have no idea about what is going on in the world, because I choose not to pay attention. I pick up on things that most don’t, when I observe others I can read them like a book. Despite this, I don’t often trust my interpretations of human behaviour, because it’s usually not very positive. I like to think I am able to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and carry on getting to know them in a typical way. But the truth is, I can pick a good, decent person as quickly as a bad one. I’m not someone who judges, if your intentions are decent. I really don’t care who you are, what you do for a living, what race you are, sexuality or any of that. Plus, please do whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn’t harm others. Despite all this, I still get burned occasionally, although not nearly as much as I used to. It is true, I am probably closed off to people a little too much, but I think, under the circumstances I’m doing OK.

Another aspect is my memory for past conversations. I can remember lots of details, some important and some trivial, and if you lie, I know. It’s funny how many people change small details in a story, once they re tell it down the track. It’s not even lying really, it’s just to be more social. But of course, the downside is that I also notice the deceit. People that take advantage of others for a personal gain. But, I can at the same time take a step back and try and understand why that person is acting deceitfully and gauge if that sits OK with me. It sometimes doesn’t and I retreat and be safe somewhere away from that interaction. I do think that sensitive people attract people with personality disorders…..Ill leave you to ponder why…..

Sensitivity comes with a freakish ability to be an emotional sponge. I soak it up, good or bad. If someone is emotional around me, I get it full force. It’s another reason why I have to be careful who I give myself to in relationships. In a similar way, my emotions are felt in a deeper more intense way than most others. If I am hurt, it cuts deeper and I won’t forget easily. If you love me and accept me for who I am, I will give it back to you and never forget it. This obviously creates problems in my life, but now that I am aware of it, I can usually rationalise and think more realistically, because being this way constantly is a really crap way to live.

Being a sensitive person scares a lot of people away. It’s difficult for them to understand where all this stuff bubbles up from. Unfortunately, life, for a long time made me feel like there was something wrong with me. It’s taken a very long time to gain some control and see the good stuff in all this.

I’ve been working with dogs for 2 years now, as a groomer. The great things is, with some basic knowledge of dog behaviour and body language I am now able to transfer my skills to understanding dogs. I still have a long way to go, but it’s very fulfilling. Dogs have no agenda, and their behaviour stems from very basic needs. The most common emotion that I deal with is fear. Fear and nervousness presents on the grooming table as a real challenge. Being able to take the time to absorb what is going on and react accordingly is an amazing feeling. If I make progress with a dog’s fear, it makes it all worthwhile. I really look forward to a future where I can broaden my skills and help dogs in many other ways.

Emotionally sensitive people may seem weak to the masses, but in truth we are far stronger than most- The Cynical Dog Lover

We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.

Alan Watts

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2 thoughts on “Would you rather be clueless and happy or insightful and cynical?

  1. Just ran across your blog. Good luck with your dog grooming efforts! You sound like this will be a good job for you. I’m over sensitive too- so I totally relate. That’s why I’m a dog groomer. 🙂

    • Thank you, I also notice alot of people who are sensitive and dealing with mental illness working in the animal industries. I think that says a lot about where we find solace!

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